im supposed to write like the world. write as the ocean and the sea. the water on the back of me without a special sort of glee. i made up my percussions. they were here like candy. the unseen concessions from the beach of sandy. i rymed some words. made them interesting. created a story that was plain and irrlongated. i dont see what i felt. just read the conveyer belt. oo good one. i like the felt and belt. feelings with motion. not emotion. it would be nice to laugh but im moving very quickly. angry not so at a single but at the group of lives untold to me for i dont care basically my story means nothing to them. run on sent with the chlorine fillings i wish i could take. eat the cakes for they are made to bake. glorcon felt like the belt of an overweight man holding on to his health. your strive for health ver weighs your survival. giving a reason for me to notice im not with you but might join. if i stay on my way i too will die. but if i make my mark more people will soon cry. im here for myself but inturn for you. if i must do something it might as well be good. but if i dont reach my set needed deadline then all scenes are mine. take or given i want them back for i shal start anew with a new ppack on my back. give me a reaso to help you out. i wish for i knowthat the man wont show. he never made a face not even for the clouds. ive given my heart. ive given my mind. now what do you wish to take. another pointless dime. new people comeing into my mind. i saw the trapped sneaker ringing with time.

your fogar

so, im traveling through my life woundering were life is going. woundering if its my life or others. my life had a bad day. more things happened than i wished. i forgave someone, hated, hurt, let people down, was let down. i was happy you came in with me. i didnt feel lost. wish i could try something new but the knoledge that i cant hurts. im just woundering what life to live. for others or myself which means nothing in return. my return comes from effort when love comes home. security. but if i give up on helpless hopes people die, friends and groups of people break apart. sadness without return. a push wont come. my window is closing and hundreds of days of light will pass till i can open it to choice few. work is reality. desire is fantasy. i want a reason. sending living words are not true but let them go. i wish i could live without life. i just want to fall. its nice when it comes back to the ground but when will i get up. give me your hand. do you trust me. take you away from this but when people believe in uglyness that i dont see i cant comprehend where its comeing from. i wish i could have done something but it wasnt the day. i cant push when its not the day. but when you see the simplest of words you pointed out you see what you have given that day and it not good its not fun. give me a reason before i give up and walk away like a cheeta without its hind legs.

my happenings this point

your fogar

stranger danger. thats where my shyness comes from. if i know you, im not shy. no i dont think so. im just uncomfortable with new people. you've heard of if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it at all. well if i dont think of something good to say i shut up. its holding back. ive talked about that before. how i hold back too much. sometimes its good, other times bad. its the hyper nervousness that gets me. my peers not really ifive been around them four say three years. i can go make a fool of myself. come back and be happy. i like to express myself in ways that will benifit other people at times. i might make someone mad at me for a second because they were angry at someone else. overdueing it could make the person feel very stressed. moving someone's anger issoemthing you must do at times. looking a a thesaurous for new words besides time, sometimes, some people, and someone is something you have to do. repetitiveness is not entertaining. its boreing. lacking entertainment. if you lack your carisma, you lack your friends. but hey your people skills go a long way. you have to force yourself to say hi to people youd ont know when you walk on the sidewalk. anything else would be even more awquard. its hard for me to do that. thats why i was happy when i met someone who said hi back. the big wet rainstorms over!

ive lost interest in this writing somewhat, as you have noticed. i have to force my self to write. i dont know what i should write about. well i noticed how much i hate it when people take my ideas. we are learning about the brain in bio and for some reason i hate it. i already know everything about it because i love to rea dup on the brain. i know how blood flow changes in the brain when exposed to different colors. meaning bloodflow is how we read colors apparently. theoretically anyways. i know the parts of the brain such as the hypothalumus were our hopes and dreams lie. plus where temperature and sleep regulation occur. i want to be better than everyone else i guess, but i dont try. as much as people think i do not try though. i do my work thats it. i just remember more than most apparently. i know the parts of a nerve already and all that other stuff. i just want to shout out what everything is and show everyone i know. but i wont because i can surpress my excitment. i hate feeling stupid because it always seem like i get something wrong when i do answer. i wouldnt do well if i had to exchange ideas. thats how things are invented and discovered, but i hate it when people steal my ideas. i cant stand it. another thing is i dont know how to handle a pat on the back or when someone says good job. when say some one says good drawing and takes the picture and looks at it i just want them to give it back. when a teacher says good job on the test i just go blank and go ok. a thankyou i respond in a blank. i mean i might get the right response sinse its automatic but its hard to understand the thankyou. especially from a teacher. thats when i just go blank. when they talk to me. i dont know a thing. i dont know what i ate for lunch or if ill find out in a second. i dont know how old i am unless i count my toes. im flatered. i like the attention but its hard to handle for me. its like how i hate sharp pointy things but i love drawing them. i hate what i love and i love what i hate.

your fogar

im not as moody as yesturday. im happy. things went well. besides the 900 word essay im good. what makes me happy. its hard to find out really. i used to know but now i dont. i used to like rideing on a bus just listening to music without careing. now i dont know. i like doing things, just not boring things. i like smiling when i shouldnt smile. i like it when i beat someone im competeing against. i like success. those make me happy. its hard to see what really makes you happy. doing something you dont really want to doesnt make you truely happy. doing something you wish is what makes people happy sometimes. out comes are good. i hate it when people tell me im wrong, but the thing is im always wrong. when i try to prove someone wrong it ends up being me. i dont want to worry but i do. with a full day ahead of me i should get happy. happyness starts with happyness. dont know what i said but i dont care. that man from kenya spoke with a hard acent but i could understand what he was saying. it came slowly to me. evey word took two seconds instead of one to understand. he told good stories, true or fiction, they were good. he got his message to me. i knew what he was talking about. ive only heard it for my whole life. it was religious. but religion connects (links) people to one another. groups form. people share ideas. now its a place on time. i gave an hour a week. yey good for you. what did you do? nothing. oh great. im going to live my life. go waste yours doing crap that doesnt even follow what you say you are doing. kill people for a reason which said to love your enemies. oh yeah you sound perfectly understandable. no. thats retarded. well whatever. have fun. fun being retarded.

your fogar

groundhog day. i like that holiday because its as useless as the hair on my back. plus they show that movie, groundhog day. i like how he changes his life in that movie. he plays the day over and over untill he gets it right.

your fogar

im so tired and angry. i feel so bad if i could have pms i would.......well i would have a vagina. everything is changing. people are broken up in my life. the best friends of last year are over. they dont see that special friend. its mainly due to life i guess. and as life i mean the relationships we create to create life. life in different ways, but here im talking about my life now. my future goes out about a month. when we were children of say 4 years, we live in the present. we couldnt wait 5 minutes for a candy bar. we wanted it now. if you were promised a whole candybar if you waited 5 mintues or one piece of a candy bar like 1/8th the size now, you know what you would have taken. the little piece. you wanted it now. a few years later you started to understand. you start to understand to not live in the past so much. you wait for the whole candy bar. you can see that in the world today in the market of investment. it is in a way gambling. they might not give you the whole piece. i dont want to wait till things get better. i want to be happy and have time for myself too. i dont like my personality, but hey i can change it. i know i can be sad right now if i want to be. but i cant be happy. at least not now. i want it now. i can wait a day. a week. maybe a month but thats all. i want to whole candybar but i dont want to wait.

your fogar