wah I'm drowning in my own blood. Drive is lost from my mind and all that remains right now is my hope that still seems to move me even though the light is on. I just need someone to let me relase this emotion but now I feel the most ugly as I ever have felt. My confidence is gone as well. I have rejected myself. I had a nice girl as me out. I decided I give her a chance even though I didn't feel attracted to her. Now don't get me wrong for she was not ugly and she wasn't stupid. She knew what she wanted too. I knew what she wanted. But I just didn't feel that way. Continue to when she picks me up and takes me to her room. I figure she will get me drunk while getting my homework done. I felt it was going to be productive. Naaa. All she wanted to do was fuck and you might say dude...fuck. But when you have no Al Hall with you and you are not previously attracted to this lady what happens is nothing. I couldn't move in because I myself did feel attracted to her. I actually did that once before and it sucked balls. Not literally. I wished. That girl was boring and lazy as hell. What it was about was not sex but just the feeling to be liked and okay to get off. Scratch what I said because I'm not going to lie yeah sex would be fun and nice but I don't know this girl just met her not attracted to her fuck I dont get what my actions did. I know that when I'm in a room or when your in a room you would look around and go yeah I'd do her/him. I just always though but now I too high for anyone. ehhh. I just want someone to hang out and to give a nice regular fuck to. Someone that could take the dogpound or the pile-driver. Preferably a broken in funny goof that would drink with me. But why can't I settle in my mind yet. urgh. I'm just too lazy. I don't want to do everything. I had a talk to a lady friend about relationships and how she got into hers. Here is someinteresting insight. When she first started her relationship her manfriend was very persistent. She even told the man that if he wanted it to work that he would have to do all the calling and basically put forth all the effort for the relationship. Sounds like that would be a dick thing to do but now she is very happy because she and her man friend are still going strong after a year or two. I told her that is exactly the opposite of what I want. I don't want to do all the work in a relationship. She told me that it just doesn't work that way. The girl will always be thinking things like does he really like me or does he just like me for the sex? Fuck girl. That just insults me as a man. If you have never had a close relationship where you felt something so much bigger that yourself I'm sorry for you. Not your dick asshole, I was talking about a feeling like adrenaline, a burning in your chest, being so happy that you couldn't give a shit what you were doing together because you know that you would have so much fun either way. A fuck buddy is fun as well but if the girl can't tell the difference if she is only a fuck buddy or a girlfriend then you are retarded. I don't understand why you hate me so. My stress is just building to beat me down everyday every class seems like a C and every group seems to be let down and my time seems to be lost and my goals seem to be late and my time is spent going in fifteen minute periods. Movies of useless thoughts of other useless people. ugh and ugh.I seem to have lost the meaning of fogar but I will give you
your fogar